AUD and American Culture
A primary difficulty with understanding alcohol addiction, or alcohol use disorder, is understanding its place in American culture (and Austin, Texas, at that). The rule of the land goes something like this: Going out? (drink); staying in? (drink); have something to celebrate? (drink); had a bad day? (drink). You get it. And when your spouse has been part of this culture for their entire adult life, you may be asking yourself, “Is he just like everyone else, or is my husband an alcoholic?”
You don’t want to make something out of nothing, but your gut is telling you that there may be something going on.
Does My Husband Have a Drinking Problem?
Watching a spouse struggle with alcoholism can be a painful process. It’s easy to ignore the signs, but the consequences can wreak havoc on your marriage, your children, your finances, your sanity, your partner’s health, and so much more.
You may have observed your husband drinking a lot more than usual, and now you’re wondering if his drinking has become a clinically diagnosed problem.
When talking about addiction, it’s helpful to check with the dictionary:
Addiction: a compulsive, chronic, physiological or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, behavior, or activity having harmful physical, psychological, or social effects …
Husband Lying About Drinking and More Signs
With this straightforward definition in mind, here are some signs that indicate your husband is an alcoholic and needs help with his drinking.
He engages in high-risk activities while drinking
Alcohol impairs judgment, so you may notice that he still insists on getting behind the wheel after a night out with his friends. But the risks could be less obvious: choosing to binge on work nights risking his job, drinking to excess while taking care of the kids, even sexual infidelity can be symptomatic of risky behavior because of AUD (alcohol use disorder).
His health has been affected by drinking
As a result of the high-risk activities mentioned above, he may sustain injuries. Furthermore, chronic use of alcohol can inhibit the proper functioning of other body systems such as the digestive and cardiac systems leading to digestive issues and gastritis, duodenal ulcers, hypertension, and at times mental health issues start to crop up such as depression and anxiety. Binge drinking can actually cause an overdose. Of course, on a long enough timeline, excessive alcohol consumption will certainly lead to an early death.
Neglecting his responsibilities because of alcohol
This is perhaps the most obvious sign that the drinking is out of control. This may start as merely taking a sick day after a night of heavy drinking to nurse his hangover, but then one day turns into two, and before you know it, he’s missed a whole week of work. This ultimately affects the household’s financial standing, bringing about conflict.
Tolerance levels raising
Does your husband start his day with a shot? Beers at lunch? A couple before coming home? With long-term alcohol abuse, a person will build up a tolerance level. But they will still experience intense cravings. This means more liquor is needed to get the job done.
Family problems
Your family and marriage might take the heaviest blow due to alcoholism. You might start to experience financial problems because a good chunk of your income is spent on buying alcohol. Cheating does happen. Arguments. Legal problems. Unable to fulfil simple promises.
He is aware of his drinking problem, but he continues with it
He may have tried to quit drinking several times, but he could not deal with the withdrawal symptoms hours after his last drink, so he went back to drinking. Another factor could be that he is unwilling to do the work required to heal from the addiction.
What Now?
Whatever you think, there will come a time where it becomes necessary to communicate your concerns. If you are in this situation, there are a couple of things to remember:
- Shame does not help.
If your husband has an alcohol use disorder, it is vital to understand it as a disease of the brain. No matter the decisions that were made to get him to this place, shame will not bring recovery. Professional alcohol rehab is the best option. And if you want your husband to get help, it is counterproductive to blame and shame him.
- Use language that helps him understand how you are affected.
You and your kids (if you have them) are the ones that are most affected by your husbands excessive drinking. Use “I” statements instead of “you” ones. - Present options
Demanding things and finger-pointing is not the correct approach here. But neither is simply rolling over and allowing the dangerous behavior in your life. Present the options. If he chooses to continue putting your family in danger you might not be around for it.
Rehab for My Husband
The best option may be residential addiction treatment for your husband. This all depends on how long, how much, and how severe the addiction is. This is a good place to reach out for help yourself.
You may want to talk to a doctor or an addiction specialist. When you talk to your husband, it is good to have a recovery option ready for him should he become open to your conversation.
Heartwood Recovery in Austin Texas is an addiction treatment center for men. If your husband is struggling with alcohol addiction, or any other addictive substance, we are available to answer your questions and help you find the right course of action.
